Useless employee

I had became tipical Japanese worker as a systems engineer. And became "The usuless employee" immidiately.

Because I choose employer company not because of the empathy with the corporate philosophy or a strong interest in the work content, but they just gave initial offer.

I dodn't have any goals of self-actualization through their business.

Of course I couldn't have enthusiasm for day-to-day work and my doss told me "You are useless, champion" clearly.

Also, the fact I was taking precious time from limited life to what I do not like, was undermining my heart and body.

I had chronic poor physical condition and it was not only once or twice to turn over the bowl containing miso soup without power entering the hand.

Everyday was distressing.

"I am not in the role of the company and I myself don't feel pleasant"

"I'm a human don't have a value to live at all."

I always thought so.

"I don't want to live like this dead"

"I want to live"

I started to consider to change the job in order to escape from this environment.

And a process "suitable job diagnosis" had changed my destiny.

It was "The inventory of life".

I wrote my experience down on the paper. Not everything, but I forcused on the moment with strong emotion.

When I felt happy and when I felt sad. By picking common points up from them, finding my unknown request whatI want to do and what I don't want to do.

And then, introduce suitable job types and workplaces. It was supposed to be like that flow.

Through this work, I realized "I wanted to be a hero".

When I was a bullying child, I loved hero drama "Masked Rider".

In the program, the troubled person is helped by a hero.

But in the real world, there were no heroes to save me from bullying.

"Why there is no hero helps me? This world is wrong!"

I was crying in my heart.

Then I thought,

"If then, I want to be a hero and change this wrong world!"

I noticed that such thought was growing somewhere in my heart through this inventory.

Then, who I can help?

The first thing I came up with was the Yo-Yo, brought up myself.

Not only myself, but also the junior champions were still not eveluated enough from sociaty as well.

"Can I improve this situation as a hero?"

"If I could perform at a social-appreciated place like Cirque du Soleil with the Yo-Yo, would not it be possible to change the image of the Yo-Yo?"

Such a bewildering idea came to my mind.

Of course I knew it's not easy.

"Perhaps impossible ... maybe ..."
Such thought was also honest.

But I felt finally I could meet my dream let me return to living life.

Not a job change as a company employee, but an independent as a performer,
Aiming to appear Cirque du Soleil.

That was the conclusion I decided.

In April 2007, I quit the company and became independent as a professional performer.